November 28, 2004

Live in a Mansion for Free

In keeping with my business concepts and ideas related to the holidays, here’s one. It’s a business opportunity AND a plan to build a beautiful home for next to nothing.

As everyone in America knows, light shows are VERY popular during Christmas. Some people just go overboard but that’s great because it gives us lazy bums something to look at and aspire to. :-)

Why not turn this into a way to pay for your own custom built house?

Here’s how it would work. Buy a few acres outside a fairly major metropolis and plan on building a home. Only this home would be custom built to have lights that automatically drape or somehow cover itself with lighting ALL OVER the house. I mean on every square inch of the house, there would be a light. In the day, they wouldn’t be visible. But the system would be engineered to put all the lights in place during the night somehow. (A good engineer can work this out somehow.. like have them unroll in sheets of light rows from the eaves…etc.)

So, your entire house would be just covered from head to toe with lights. Of course, you’d want your entire grounds to be custom designed with a huge light show as well. I mean a REALLY BIG show. One that would attract people from hundreds of miles away.

But, and this is important, make sure your light show is interchangeable with the seasons. So, for Easter, you’d have a huge Easter themed light show. During 4th of July, your lighting show would be red, white and blue, Independence Day themed. Then the next one would be Halloween and then of course, Christmas.

In your plans, you’d have a nice gate (lit of course) with a gate house at the front of your driveway. This gate house would be where you would collect the entry fee that you’d charge people to drive your property to see the light show. You’d have designed the entire thing to be seen from a long meandering driveway that exits out another street somewhere.

Your Easter show would open maybe 3 weeks before Easter and close the day after Easter. Your 4th of July show would open on June 15th maybe (or earlier) and close the weekend after the 4th (or whatever). Then the Halloween one could open on October 1st and close on November 1st. Christmas could open the day after Thanksgiving and close on Jan 2nd, or thereabouts.

So, your shows are open to the public a total of about 12 to 14 weeks, give or take. In that timeframe, if you’ve set up your lighting system from the ground up to be very automated and easy to operate, you could essentially bring in enough revenue throughout the year to pay the mortgage on a very nice custom built property. Essentially, you work maybe 20 weeks out of the year and vacation the other part and at the same time, your house is being paid for by your adoring public.

If you do the numbers, you could feasibly bring in a few hundred grand a year or more. Halloween and Christmas alone is HUGE business. You could be looking at $10,000-$20,000 a day in revenue during these two holiday seasons. Of course, you’d have to work out the actual numbers and you’d also have to make sure you could afford this endeavor even without the added revenue, just to be safe. But if you could extract revenue on your property like that, year in and year out, that’s at the very least, a great way to pay off your mortgage in just a few years.

Of course, you could piggy back on my previous idea about selling sponsorships… only you’d be selling them for your own lighting display. :-)

Sell Christmas Light Sponsorships

I love this newest idea of mine. I was driving at night recently and saw this BEAUTIFUL Christmas light display at someone’s house. The house happened to be on the corner of a very busy intersection, so it’s going to be seen by lots of people. Being the person I am, I started brainstorming about how I could use the synergy of the obvious attention the light show was getting with the large amount of traffic in the position to look at it.

Sell Christmas lighting sponsorships. You become the broker, so to speak.

Here’s how it works. Cruise around your town looking for really nice Christmas light displays. They have to be visible from fairly large traffic areas. Coincidently, most really nice Christmas light displays happen to be near high traffic areas. In many cases, that’s WHY the owner is putting on such a big display. Because they know a lot of people will see it.

Find good locations with good light displays then knock on their door and ask the owner if you can put a sign (with the same Christmas light look to it) with a name of a website somewhere on the lawn. In exchange for allowing you to do this, you will give him $250 (or whatever the market will bear… how busy the street, how nice the lighting show… etc).

Get several owners to agree to this and then put on your sales hat and approach websites or even local businesses that would like to be attached to a Christmas light display and sell them the sign space for $750 (again, whatever the market will bear.)

You pocket the difference. Although, as part of the $500 paycheck, you will have to configure the sign. But it wouldn;t be difficult. Just take a 4′x4′ sheet of plywood (4′ x 8′… whatever), draw out the lettering for the website or business name in fat lettering, cut little holes the size of Christmas lights within the outline of the lettering, then insert Christmas light bulbs into the holes from the backside. When lit up, it’ll spell out whatever it is you are trying to advertise. Paint the rest of the plywood black so it won’t detract from anything, then stand it up in the yard. You can have a wood shop do the plywood work for you for not much more than probably $100. Even if it cost you $250 in materials and labor to get the sign made and put up on the lawn, you still pocket $250 yourself for each light show sold.

These numbers can be different for your area. But you get the drift. The owner gets some extra pocket change for their Christmas, the business gets a very high profile ad space that will be viewd by LOTS of people and you get an ongoing business.

Once you find people willing to allow you to sell space on their lawn, you just do it year after year. You eventually grow your business to the point that you are selling space for maybe hundreds of light shows in your state or region. Once you get that much ad space at your disposal, you might be able to sell them all to a big account like Pepsi or whatever. Start off with one or two displays this year. Next year find a few more… eventually, it could become a SERIOUSLY big revenue generator. Also, after you’ve made a sign for a business, that sign is REALLY easy to put up the following year because it’s already made. So, you can pass the savings on to the business by giving them a slight discount the following year. This gives you a good closing tool to close the business again and it still probably gives you a bump in profitability on top of that.

You could even get into the business of approaching nice places that would make a good light show location (high traffic) and offer to decorate their entire spread for free in exchange for the ability to put up your sign. This would allow you to operate without having to look for good existing light shows. All you’d do then is just look for good locations, with owners willing to say, "Yeah, sure, go ahead."

Once you have the light show materials for that location, it can be stored and then put up year after year. The owner gets a good light show on their property for free, you get great ad space and the advertiser is happy with their exposure.

There are even companies that provide you a business opportunity for installing Christmas light shows. You could combine that business in creative ways with what I’m talking about.

So start lighting your way to riches this year. :-)

November 25, 2004

Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation

I think it’s important to know a little about the history of our holidays, here in the US. I particularly like the history behind Thanksgiving. It really speaks volumes against the backdrop of liberal organizations, such as the ACLU, attempting to remove references to God from every fabric of today’s society.

As much as religion-hating liberals try at all costs to deny our heritage, this country was borne out of a fundamental belief in an almighty God. Indeed, the very basis of the independence argument was based on the belief that what God has granted us, we have not been able to experience under the yoke of the crown. Therefore, they threw off the yoke. But without a higher power than the King to appeal to, what justification would there have been to go against his wishes?

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

If belief in a God was not the foundation or the justification for declaring our independence, what was? Rights granted by another human (King or anyone else) cannot be unalienable. Without the unalienable rights granted to mankind by his creator, there is no legal justification for us to establish our independence from the crown. In other words, they recognized a moral higher authority.

There were two key steps as I see it, in establishing our independence in such a way that it cannot be destroyed. First, they believed in rights granted to us as humans by our creator. But unless you have a belief in a higher power, you can’t understand this step. (Which is why liberals have such a hard time with this concept.) Second, they claimed or secured those rights through the consent of the people. But recognizing that our rights are not granted by men but by almighty God, they removed the possibility of someone lording power over the people because no one can claim to be equal to God. This is why America is the nation it is. We are a nation beholding to no one but God (a moral and just God, Mr. Osama) and responsible to one another for its fair governance.

George Washington’s proclamation regarding Thanksgiving is even more telling as to how our founding fathers stood regarding the important of recognizing a supreme being. Here is the proclamation:

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:”

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted’ for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have show kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d dy of October, A.D. 1789.

(signed) G. Washington

From Spark’s Washington, Vol. XII, p. 119

I got this from here.

I’m thankful, today, to have been born in a country as incredible as America. We have the power to rule the world, like no other country has in the history of mankind, yet we choose to use it for the good of mankind instead of the ruin. I realize we aren’t perfect. But I know that as long as our eyes and hearts, as a collective nation, stay focused on the moral high ground and our belief in an Almighty God stays strong and a part of who we are as a nation, we will endure until the end of the ages.

November 24, 2004

I, Cringely, Picks Up on My Idea…

Bob Cringely has gotten wind of one of my theories just recently and wrote about it. Here’s his article and here’s mine. I’m sure his idea was spontaneous, just like mine. Business idea genius isn’t exclusive to me. Haha!

Regardless, this is really something to keep an eye on. It bears watching, because as I said in my blog entry on the subject, Walmart’s goal is to get into EVERY SINGLE retail space that they are currently not into now.

Now THAT is a goal. Hey?

November 20, 2004

MP3 Player Store

I just got back from Frys and I’m madder than snot. I wanted to check out the new Zen Micro hard drive based MP3 player. It just came out and my Frys store had two of them. So I go to the sales geek and ask him if they have a display unit somewhere to fiddle with.

Of course not!!!!!

This is one of the BIGGEST mistakes in retailing electronics. They are MEANT to be fiddled with. People don’t fall in love with pictures. They want to touch them and see how they work…etc.

How many sales do you think they miss out on each and every day by not allowing people to fiddle with them? Multiply that by how many stores they have. If I were the President of Frys, I’d be sick to my stomach to know this.

However, even when Frys does have a display unit, their sales people are always so busy, there’s no way they can answer people’s questions in a timely manner. The digital camera isle is a perfect example. They have all the cameras out to touch (good) but half of them aren’t operational (bad) and HEAVEN FORBID you have a question about a feature or anything else. Take a number and get in line, basically. (VERY bad!)

So, this is the PERFECT time to capitalize on the big retailers treating customers like chump change when it comes to hands-on, MP3 player action.

Open a niche store that JUST SELLS MP3 players and other related peripherals. Staff it with geeky teens that know everything about these things. Kind of like an Apple store concept, but for MP3 players only. In this store, you can find EVERY single MP3 player sold on the face of the earth (that you can get your hands on) and have them functionally displayed so people can play with them. DO NOT tether them to the table, either. Please. I know it’s loss prevention, but there’s got to be another way. It’s a small enough store that you can keep an eye on things quite easily. There’s nothing worse than a big old wire hanging off the thing you’re trying to check out.

I would buy my next MP3 player from a store like this in a heartbeat. Can you imagine the traffic you’d get? You’d have a ton of customers coming to check you out since you’d be the only player in town that is specifically catering to this market. One radio commercial in heavy rotation on the local pop radio station, and you’d have a never ending stream of customers.

MP3 players are the future of portable music and we’re just in the beginning stages of the mega growth phase. Get in now and start your own MP3 player store. I’d do it myself, if I didn’t have like, oh, ZERO time to dedicate to it. :-)

November 17, 2004

Great Quote

Got this from Incoherent Ramblings:

“War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.”

John Stewart Mill

November 15, 2004

Dancing Cars

Just thought you’d like to see this commercial. Incredible viral ad campaign. I’ll bet this will be seen by a million people in 1 day alone, if it hasn’t already.

Hat tip to Gizmodo for this one.

November 14, 2004

Addresses of Political Donators

I’ve already discussed an idea I had regarding the use of free political donation address databases, like this one.

Well, I never got around to sending out any direct mail to these people advertising my original political t-shirts, like this one. (BTW: I made about $2000 on that shirt idea, just advertising on blogs… etc.) I wish I had because it would have definitely been profitable. But I only have so much time in my day and that never made it to the top of my list.

But now I’m seriously contemplating doing it with some other things I’d like to sell that have a political slant to them. I’ve had a script programmed that can extract mailing addresses of donators based on their political party and/or zipcode. It’s quick and easy… instead of having to manually copy and paste each record by hand. Yowza! No way.

So, just for you, my readers. If you think you’d like to send some direct mail to these politically charged individuals and advertise something you sell, I will extract any zipcode you’d like for a flat rate of $10 per zipcode. You can tell me if you want republican or democrat or both, as well. I gotta justify my time in doing this and sending it to you. The results will be in a comma delimited flat file and will give you only their first, last names, address, city, zip and party affiliation.

I can’t guarantee the deliverability or validity of each address, obviously, as this is coming from an open source database. A lot of the more famous people (zip 90210 has a lot of famous people in it) are obviously using their agent’s address or some other non-descript address. But who knows, they may get the mail that comes to that address, in their name, anyway.

Regardless, I’m just providing an easy way for you to get the data. You can get it yourself as well. It’ll just take you forever. :-)

So, if you want me to do this for you, send $10 per zipcode via PayPal to orders @ orderdept.com. Be sure to let me know the zipcode(s) you are wanting me to query and if you want me to remove either party from the results, as well.

Oh, and if you’re smart, and you know of someone else who would like this info… you’ll tell them you can get it for $20 per zipcode and resell them the info. :-) Remember, ALWAYS think of ways you can make money from what you know. And information CAN be the most valuable commodity on planet earth.

Bowling for Dollars

Sorry about all the political posts recently. I’m extremely opinionated and since this is my blog, you get all of me… not just the benign, business related stuff.

So now I’m back to helping you make some money. :-)

There’s a nifty site that sells really cool retro bowling shirts. I’m not really into bowling myself, but I love some of these shirts. They’re especially good for those of us that are missing our "six pack" abs of our younger days. Untucked shirts are our saving grace and these are SUPPOSED to be untucked. What luck, huh?

Anyway… here’s a plan to sell these things. Sign up with their affiliate program. They pay 10% of all the sales you bring their way. Register a domain that would be easily memorable and then just redirect all traffic to your site to the affiliate link for the bowling shirt website. Then get a few shirts (through your affiliate link so you can at least get your commissions started) and wear one, maybe have a friend do this with you and have him/her wear another one. Both of you (more the merrier) get some large signs made up that will attract the attention of bowlers and hold them up alongside the road. The sign will obviously funnel them to your website which in turn funnels them to your affiliate account at the bowling shirts site.

Here’s the kicker. Pick a spot on the side of the road RIGHT OUTSIDE THE PARKING LOT of the biggest bowling alley in town. Make sure you’re there before and after each and every major bowling league event or when they have large amounts of people. If you’re feeling brave, print out some sticky’s and post them on the driver’s side window of all the cars in the parking lot. That way they are very visible when they go to reach for the door handle of the car.

Talk about target marketing! Go to each bowling alley within driving distance from where you live, during their big events. Call all of them to get their time schedules for big league events…etc. If they are all at different times and dates, you can just hop around making sure you’re at each one of them for the opening and closing of the event.

You can take those same stickys and walk into the alley during the event and just walk around handing out the sticky and show them the shirt you have on.

This isn’t going to get you rich, but if you’re out of work and you got nothing better to do than watch The Apprentice at night, you might as well be doing SOMETHING. :-)

November 7, 2004

Kerry’s House of Waffles

As you all may or may not know, my main gig is a collectible manufacturing business. We are pretty much apolitical in our holiday lines… very neutral. (Although I do get a bit conservative in my Santa stories.) However, I’ve recently interjected a bit of politics into our Flaty line. They are designed to be a way to celebrate America’s culture and traditions. This includes pop culture. So, we have come out with a Kerry commemorative Flaty. It’s very funny. We also came out with a Bush commemorative a while back. You can see all our Flatys, here.

To my Democrat readers (if I have any, that is) we’re just having a little fun. Don’t get all bent out a shape. It’s not like we’re calling Kerry a Hitler or anything.

Republicans are Racist - Bullcrap!!!

My favorite American hating, liberal blogger, Kos over at DailyKos is trying to draw parallels to the map of the US during the civil war period and today’s sea of red. This is such nonsense.

I’d like to point out some facts that Democrats HATE for people to know about. If you really want to do some correlation, let’s get closer to today’s reality and not compare what people thought 140 years ago to today. In 1964, the Civil Rights Act was voted on in Congress. Here’s a quote from The National Center for Public Policy Research (but you can read it for yourself in the Congressional record):

In the House of Representatives, 61% of Democrats (152 for, 96 against) voted for the Civil Rights Act as opposed to 80% of Republicans (138 for, 38 against). In the Senate, 69% of Democrats (46 for, 21 against) voted for the Act while 82% of Republicans did (27 for, 6 against).

Even more telling is that ALL (100%) of the southern Democrats voted against the Act, which was the majority of southern state representation back then.

Now, those figures, in my opinion, are an indictment of both parties and the people that represented our nation back then. For ANYONE to have voted against giving minority races equality in this country is shameful. But Democrats should SHUT THE HELL up when it comes to this race-bating crap. It just raises my blood pressure to no end. Today’s Republican administration has more minorities represented in upper manangement than did Carter and Clinton PUT TOGETHER, yet we’re the racists, trying to keep the “black man down.”

What a sad and demoralized party, the Democrats. Just sad. Talk about completely ineffectual and marginalized.

Really, it’s just sad.

November 5, 2004

Finally Revealed - Why Bush Went Into Iraq

The dots have finally been put together…

“He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983.” - Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18, 1998

“We urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the US Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions [including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq’s refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs,” - Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin (D-MI), Tom Daschle (D-SD), John Kerry ( D - MA), and others Oct. 9, 1998

“Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process.” - Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998 (Minority Democratic Leader of the house of Representatives, United States Congress)

“Hussein has … chosen to spend his money on building! weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies.” - Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999

“There is no doubt that … Saddam Hussein has invigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a licit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies.” - Letter to President Bush, Signed by Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL,) and others, December 5, 2001

“We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandate of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them.” - Sen. Carl Levin (D, MI), Sept. 1! 9, 2002

“We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country.” - Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

“Iraq’s search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power.” - Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

“We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction.” - Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002

“The last UN weapons inspectors left Iraq in October of 1998. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retains some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has since embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capabilities. Intelligence reports indicate that he is seeking nuclear weapons…” - Sen. Robert Byrd (D, WV), Oct. 3, 2002

“I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force– if necessary– to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security.” - Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Oct. 9, 2002

“There is unmistakable evidence that Saddam Hussein is working aggressively to develop nuclear weapons and will likely have nuclear weapons within the next five years . We also should remember we have always underestimated the progress Saddam has made in development of weapons of mass destruction.” - Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D, WV), Oct 10, 2002

“He has systematically violated, over the course of the past 11 years, every significant UN resolution that has demanded that he disarm and destroy his chemical and biological weapons, and any nuclear capacity. This he has refused to do.” - Rep. Henry Waxman (D, CA), Oct. 10, 2002

“In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapon stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons.” - Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002

“We are in possession of what I think to be compelling evidence that Saddam Hussein has, and has had for a number of years, a developing capacity for the production and storage of weapons of mass destruction.” - Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL), Dec.! 8, 2002

“Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime … He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation . And now he is miscalculating America’s response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction… So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real.” - Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Jan. 23. 2003

You can run, but you can’t hide from your own comments, Dems. Not only does this show that Bush was right to assume Saddam was at the very least a potential threat to the world, it also shows you that Democrats love to talk a good talk on matters of defense. But when it comes to actually following through with this strong talk, they haven’t the guts to do it. Why, you ask? Because their base is increasingly becoming ultra liberal, which means, pacifists. They must play to that base at all costs. Not to mention that most of them are pacifists themselves. They just talk a good defense because they know they have to in order to assauge middle America.

Middle Americans can see through this veneer, thankfully.

Another Reality Show Idea

I love watching Trading Spouses. Where the mom’s of two families (or two dad’s) get traded for a week. It’s a great concept and is usually very entertaining.

My wife works for AFS which is the oldest and biggest high school foreign exchange outfit in the US (in the world, I think.) Their whole mission is to foster understanding between nations by starting with the young.

I say we do this, but on a political party level and with adults. Why not get a family from a blue state (a liberal family) and a conservative family from a red state and have them change homes and families for 1 week. Meaning, the entire family (mom, dad and however many kids) up and move to the other family’s home and they are transplanted fully into the other family’s life and lifestyle.

The producers can make sure the families are engaged fully in the other family’s life. They engage with extended family members in family functions, they go to the church the other family goes to, they shop at the stores the other family shops at, they drive their car, live in their house, talk to their neighbors… etc. Live EXACTLY as the other family lives on a day to day basis. (Except for work I guess.)

This would go a long way towards understanding each other’s lives and how we come to set our values.

The show could be called "The Other Color" or a myriad of different takes on the blue/red theme.

Conservative Cruise Lines

We at Conservative Cruise Lines have a special offer for those of you who promised to leave America if President Bush were to win another four years.

Attention Alec Baldwin, Rosie O’Donnell and her wife, Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoppi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore and his personal chef, Cher and her much needed vocal therapist, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner (aka "meathead"), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Vietnamese Ambassador to the U.S., Pierre Salinger, as well as the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Irrelevance," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in France and other ports abroad.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia, Iraq or France.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay… at least four more years.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any firearms. Fortunately, Jane Fonda will be there so I’m sure you won’t need any. Giving peace a chance, and all.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise director, Grey Davis as financial director (please do not run out of money half way across the Atlantic) and Monica Lewinsky as manager of the Cigar shop.

Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen. John Kerry will perform lifeguard duties. His experience at pulling people out of the water qualifies him for this important task.

NOTE: Senator Kerry has RSVP’ed several times, only to back out each time after hearing the cruise wasn’t popular with the American public. So, he may or may not arrive. However, he has requested the renaming of the "shuffleboard" game on board to "waffleboard". Senator Kerry also suggests you pack your flip-flops as they come in handy when the sand gets too hot to handle.

Ted Kennedy will double as bartender and Director of Emergency Overboard Procedures. However, it is advised that you not go overboard. Your retrieval can not be guaranteed. Senator Kennedy will also be used as a buoy if required.

Rev. Al Sharpton will provide inspirational services, and ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. She has arranged for her village (courtesy of the American taxpayer) to raise your children while you’re gone. She can also arrange to watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

"Bon Voyage!"

P.S. FYI… Dr. Condoleeza Rice, Rudy Giuliani, Colin Powell and many other popular and quite electable Republicans have suggested you might want to plan for a 12 year trip.

Self-Evident Losses

I just came across an article on Slate written by a fanatical leftie and it BOGGLED my mind.

The writer tells us why Democrats have lost 5 of the last 7 Presidential elections, in her opinion. In it, she goes on and on about the ignorance of conservative America. The ironic part is, the CONTENT of her article is what a majority of America looks at as an example of Democrats and their contempt for the regular Joe, and then they go VOTE REPUBLICAN. Can’t they see this? It’s almost as if the writer is a hardcore conservative and is the actual author and is doing it to piss off mainstream America even more so they’ll continue to vote Republican.

But of course, this kind of contempt for the average American could be seen over and over and over during the election, so it’s not surprising to read such crap. It’s just comments like this are a shock to the system of any “red stater”:

The history of the last four years shows that red state types, above all, do not want to be told what to do—they prefer to be ignorant. As a result, they are virtually unteachable.

Honestly, it’s just sad.

November 4, 2004

Alexa Ranking Accuracy

Maybe someone can shed light here. This blog gets about 200 to 300 visitors a day (thank you everyone). It has a current Alexa ranking of 205,000. However, another site of mine gets about 500 to 700 visitors a day and is only ranked 214,000 by Alexa.

What gives? Is it because more visitors who visit my blog have Alexa installed than the visitors who visit the other site? That’s the only thing I can think of.

If someone else has a site that’s kind of close on Alexa ranking can weigh in with their traffic numbers, that would be nice.

Or just weigh in, period. :-)

November 3, 2004

Thanks are in order…

It’s over and my man has won. Not by the margin I predicted, but as you can imagine, I’m happy anyway.

I told myself that if Kerry won, I would suck it up and get behind him 100%, despite my DEEP conviction that he was the wrong person to lead our nation at this time. But this is an important time to be united as one nation. Because when America is united on anything it does, the world becomes a better place when all is said and done. This has been evidenced over and over and over, throughout history. It’s also been evidenced the other way. Vietnam was a time when America was divided and look what happened. We lost a ton of American soldiers and never achieved the objectives of the war. It was because our resolve was broken by the extreme left wing of this country. And although the world went on, I’m positive that if we had prevailed in Vietnam, many other dominos would have been impacted from that and the world just might look a bit different today.

At least 51% of America learned from that period of time in our history where America’s resolve was broken. They KNOW the stakes are too high this time and we can’t flinch. We can’t back down. We must slog through the marshes in order to make it to dry land on the other side. It’s a tough journey but I’m positive we can make it if we’re united.

Alas, I’m not sure the left is ready to concede and help America to become united. I’m positive we on the right would have fallen in behind Kerry had it been the other way around, but that’s our character. It isn’t the left’s by and large. I’m sure many are already making signs that say something divisive and angry. Case in point… check out the comments over at dailykos to get a peek at the type of people we’re talking about. I know that isn’t representative of all liberals, but you’d be hard pressed to find that kind of hatred on the right, if Kerry would have won. Even Kos himself comments on his blog that he’s going to have to forget he just read his own comments section because it was just so filled with hatred. I commend him for at least recognizing it.

But here’s an even more telling event… as reported by NewsMax.com:

As President George Bush edged closer to the 270 electoral votes necessary to secure re-election, supporters of Democratic nominee John Kerry openly wept and consoled each other at the Election Night celebration in Boston’s Copley Square. A distraught woman confronted a Democratic congressman in a hotel, screaming, “Can you tell me why everybody made a mistake?”

This is the fundamental problem with today’s Democrat and it’s the exact reason they have lost any semblance of power in this country. It’s this sense of “we’re absolutely 100% correct,” despite the fact that a majority of people think otherwise. Ironically, they’re called the “Democratic” party, which would seem to denote they like things to be done in a democratic way. Yet, when the numbers that define today’s democracy don’t add up in their favor, it’s a travesty and everyone else must be crazy, deluded, automotons or brainwashed.

A CNN commentator said it best last night. This election was about morality. One candidate showed a firm sense of it, the other didn’t. In this world where evil people are trying to destroy us, our sense of right and wrong becomes much more crystalized. When an important operative in your camp is PROUD that Osama bin Laden is taking talking points from his “documentary”, you simply must come to the realization that your party has gone over the edge, into the abyss, and the majority of Americans can see this.

But you’re still an American, and we want you to be a part of the system. And that system, right now at least, is Republican. Figure out a way you can add to the mix and just be glad you aren’t an oppressed middle eastern woman. Putting things in perspective right now, is the best possible thing a liberal can do.

I’ve mentioned in recent days that I think President Bush will be re-elected because America is a nation that votes based on optimism, not hatred. Just look at the poll numbers on how much voters loved their candidate compared to how much their vote was being dictated by how much they HATE the other guy. Bush received votes based on good feelings towards him and Kerry, by and large, received votes out of hatred for the other guy. What kind of world do we live in where a candidate can be elected based on feelings of hate for another person? Liberals talk about karma all the time. What kind of “Karma” does that put into the world?

No, once again, America’s will has been done and it is based on a universal desire to do good in this world. We know, despite the short term pain many will feel here and abroad, freedom is way too important and liberty absolutely must reign for our world to be safe from long term terror. Bush knows that, Kerry at least didn’t show us that he knew it.

As I’ve also said before, if the Democrats had nominated someone strong on defense (with a record to show for it, not just talked about it) and who hadn’t participated in anti-war activities back in the Vietnam era, we’d be looking at a completely different picture today. So, in essense, it was the fault of the Democratic party for this loss. They need to be in tune with what America wants instead of arrogantly foisting upon us what they feel we should have. That’s the wrong approach to today’s politically more educated America.

Here’s another campaign tip. Hollywood = Political Loss. We love to see pretty people in the movies but when they start thinking their level of knowledge on foreign policy is more advanced than Henry Kissinger’s… we’ll, that’s a problem.

So, to give credit where credit is due, we simply must thank the following organizations and/or people for campaigning on our behalf:

1) MoveOn.org for your over-the-top ads that portrayed a good, decent human being, as Hitler and other such hateful images. You just might have been the single best campaign tool for the Republicans because Americans are a little smarter than you think they are.

2) Michael Moore. Wow. We owe this man a TON of thanks. You were the magnet in this election. You completely alienated the majority of Americans against your cause. Just goes to show you that Americans can see through obfiscation and innuendo and images that are designed to mislead for the sole purpose of hammering your own political agenda down our throats. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

3) Every Hollywood liberal that made all their silly comments, without regard for truth or accuracy in the slightest bit. Cameron Diaz, you were an absolute jewell when you said, “If you believe women should be raped, don’t vote” on the Oprah show. Thanks a million.

There are so many that can thanked, from George Soros for galvanizing our side against his dope smoking legalization agenda to France for showing us that our enemies can be in plain sight and giving George Bush and America a chance to see where you really stand.

The Democrats had 40 years of uninterrupted time to shine and affect the world in a positive way. Now it’s our turn. 16 years down, 24 to go.

Watch out Iran, North Korea, Syria and the rest of the oppressive world. You have NO IDEA just how limited your days are if you continue down your path of sponsoring terrorism or supporting it in any way, shape or form. There’s a new sheriff in town and he’s not going to pussy foot with you like his predecessors.

Thank, God!

November 1, 2004

DailyKos is the single most hateful person in the blogoshere

I follow all sorts of blogs. From Instapundit to DailyKos and everything in between. I like to get information from all sides so when I form a viewpoint, it can be influenced from all angles.

I can safely say that DailyKos is the single most hateful person on the internet, left or right. At least of those that have a daily blog that one can read and follow.

I actually posted comments on his blog a few times, politely pointing readers to this and that across the internet that might give his readers some perspective. I was never rude and I was actually quite cordial. Well, he couldn’t handle any type of information counter to his leftist leanings, so he banned me from posting. Wow. That was quite an eye opening experience. For all the talk of being a tolerat bunch of people, I couldn’t find a group of readers so intolerant as his.

Okay… so there’s some background for you.

I actually agreed with one of his posts, today. Although, I’d never use the "f" word in public, I do agree with his overall assessment of the initiative system. Why in the world are we asked to make decisions that our elected officials should be making? Indeed.

But I think it’s interesting to note that he is arguing against his own political side’s modus operandi. He doesn’t like the initiative system and claims that we have a "representative" type of government and so why can’t THEY make those decisions instead of asking us to make all the decisions?

This same line of thinking can be extended to international decisions… oh, like, for instance, liberating countries…etc. It’s always amazed me that some idiot (excuse me… uninformed beatnik) can go through 2 years of college and because they can paint a sign, they automatically become qualified to say whether we should be sending our military to a foreign nation.

Think about that. Pretty incredible.

Yes, indeed, Kos. We do have a representative form of government and when our leaders (WHOEVER THEY ARE!!!!!) decide to go into a foreign country with our military, we have to trust they are doing the right thing. If you don’t like it, vote another way next time around but to take up signs and protest your government’s actions is to weaken the resolve of the decisions our representative government has made and by doing so, you aid the enemy. Case in point… when we sent military to Bosnia, there were plenty of people against that move, but there wasn’t NEAR the public outrage. Why? Because the people who typically get their panties all bunched up over such things were on the same political side as the President at that time. I was in the military at the time and we were NONE to happy with our President over many issues. But we supported WHATEVER he chose to do, without reservation. As much as I disagreed with the man on a host of issues, when it came to presenting a solidarity to the world, I was behind him 100%.

So, let’s vote for those that match our underlying principles (if you have any) then LET THEM REPRESENT US AS A NATION AND LEAVE THEM ALONE UNTIL THE NEXT ELECTION, REGARDLESS OF WHO IT IS!

I have put a sign in my car window that says:

Pray for Bush, Kerry & America. But vote for Bush!

I guess that explains where I’m at, politically. It means I don’t hate the other guy (or his people), but I love America and I love those that are willing to sacrifice for the betterment and survival of it. Kerry could very well fit that description, but he’s demonstrated that he isn’t like that in the past and I can’t trust him to change in the future. So Bush is my man.

President Bush will be re-elected because at America’s core is a desire to vote because they love their candidate and not because they hate the other one.

It shouldn’t come down to who you hate the most, it should come down to who you love the most. If you don’t love either, don’t vote.

Voting from hate is destructive and counter-productive.