July 28, 2007

BiggestOnEarth.com Relaunches

This fun online service that I launched a while back has been revamped and is now relaunching. The major difference is now each award is free for the electronic version. So, if you think you’re the biggest "something" on earth, claim your spot now. We do give you the option to upgrade to a hard copy in addition to the electronic copy, when you sign up. You receive these via snail mail. They have a gold seal and look very official. Suitable for framing, I like to say. :-)

Check it out. 

January 24, 2007

BiggestOnEarth.com Launches

I’m happy to announce my latest online business. Without further ado… I give you BiggestOnEarth.com. It’s a site that ranks you (highly unofficially) among dozens of fun, serious and heart warming categories.

The site is currently doing a soft launch. There might be a bug here and there so if you catch one, please let me know. Use the contact form on the site to let me know.

Right now, it’s just a fun site but we’re adding features that will allow you to advertise your own business or endeavor (whatever it might be) on the URL that is given to you for your particular award. 

So what number are you and in which category are you the biggest on earth?  :-)

Update: We’ve changed the pricing on each award and you can just buy an electronic version without getting the hard copy sent via snail mail.

August 27, 2006

I’m the 258th Most Awesome Person on the Internet

It says it here, so it must be true. :-)

October 19, 2005

Commenting…

I just had a really nice person (I’m sure his mom thinks so anyway) leave a comment on one of my posts.

If you don’t agree with me, I’m all for a nice discussion. But be civil, okay?

Oh, and I live in the Portland, OR metro area, not Seattle. And if you look over to the right, you’ll see a link to “Who’s Dan Sherman.” That’s where you can find my contact info.

June 18, 2005

Ad Designed to Shame You into Paying Your Cigarette Taxes

I was reading one of our local papers today (for real estate ads… only reason I pick up a newspaper now-a-days) and came across what I thought was an absolutely amazing advertisement. Evidently, the Oregon Department of Revenue is trying to persuade smokers to not evade paying taxes on their smokes when purchasing through the internet.

Here is the ad:

Oregon Cigarette Tax Advertisement

Instead of using our state tax revenue on ads telling people they’re pretty stupid for smoking, they would rather throw money at ads that try to shame people into paying taxes voluntarily on something that smokers consider to be outrageously expensive anyway.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen an ad as useless as this one. Talk about a colossal waste of money. Yowza!

May 17, 2005

Liberal Women vs Conservative Women

Had to pass this along to you. So funny. Remember that the greatest of humorous situations have a thread of truth to them. Check this out.

April 11, 2005

Scientist Create Remote-Controlled Democrats

Link to article.

Scientists Create Remote-Controlled Democrats

Yale University researchers say their study that used lasers to create remote-controlled wacko Democrats could lead to a better understanding of overeating and violence in humans.

Using the lasers to stimulate specific brain cells, researchers say they were able to make the Democrats jump, walk, flap their arms and even drive SUVs.

Even headless Democrats could still manage to complain about voting irregularities during the recent election when researchers stimulated the correct neurons, according to the study, published in the April 7 issue of the journal Cell.

Scientists say the study could ultimately help identify the cells associated with psychiatric disorders, overeating and aggressiveness.

Biologists have long known that an electrical stimulus can trigger muscle response, but this approach used focused beams of light to stimulate neurons that would have been impossible to study using electrodes.

Gero Miesenbock, associate professor of cell biology at Yale, said if the process could be duplicated on moderate Democrats, researchers might be able to better understand the cellular activity that leads to certain behavior.

“Ultimately, that could be important to understanding human psychiatric disorders,” Miesenbock said. “That’s really futuristic stuff.”

Read the article for a more detailed take on what is essentially the same concept as it was actually written. :-)

February 11, 2005

Hu’s the Leader of China

I just got this via email. One of those things that sweep around the globe. But I thought it was so funny, I’m going to post it here for posterity.

It’s a take off from the “Who’s on First” bit by Abbott and Costello. If you haven’t heard that bit from them, you are missing one of the classic comedic routines of all time. It will have you on the floor, laughing

Anyway, here’s the modern version:

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
Condi: I’m telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he’s dead in the Middle East..
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone!!!

January 7, 2005

Save Money - Hire Slave Labor

 

NEWS FLASH! Walter Cronkite has been photographed in what authorities are calling a "slave labor basement" located 25 feet under a WalMart in Wilsonville OR. Authorities are calling it Abu Wal Ghraib.

A shaken and disheveled Cronkite was led out of the basement by local authorities after being dressed in a somewhat tight fitting pair of pants and an I’m With Stupid t-shirt that was evidently being manufactured in the basement at the time.

As he emerged from the slave hole, onlookers were shocked by the incredibly low prices of the garments used to cover Cronkite which could plainly be seen on the "Roll Back" price tags hanging off them. There is speculation that Mr. Cronkite was part of the slave labor forced to make the very garments he was wearing at the time.

CBS declined to comment saying, "Walter who?"

:-)

Real story here.

November 5, 2004

Conservative Cruise Lines

We at Conservative Cruise Lines have a special offer for those of you who promised to leave America if President Bush were to win another four years.

Attention Alec Baldwin, Rosie O’Donnell and her wife, Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoppi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore and his personal chef, Cher and her much needed vocal therapist, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner (aka "meathead"), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Vietnamese Ambassador to the U.S., Pierre Salinger, as well as the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Irrelevance," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in France and other ports abroad.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia, Iraq or France.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay… at least four more years.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any firearms. Fortunately, Jane Fonda will be there so I’m sure you won’t need any. Giving peace a chance, and all.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise director, Grey Davis as financial director (please do not run out of money half way across the Atlantic) and Monica Lewinsky as manager of the Cigar shop.

Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen. John Kerry will perform lifeguard duties. His experience at pulling people out of the water qualifies him for this important task.

NOTE: Senator Kerry has RSVP’ed several times, only to back out each time after hearing the cruise wasn’t popular with the American public. So, he may or may not arrive. However, he has requested the renaming of the "shuffleboard" game on board to "waffleboard". Senator Kerry also suggests you pack your flip-flops as they come in handy when the sand gets too hot to handle.

Ted Kennedy will double as bartender and Director of Emergency Overboard Procedures. However, it is advised that you not go overboard. Your retrieval can not be guaranteed. Senator Kennedy will also be used as a buoy if required.

Rev. Al Sharpton will provide inspirational services, and ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. She has arranged for her village (courtesy of the American taxpayer) to raise your children while you’re gone. She can also arrange to watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

"Bon Voyage!"

P.S. FYI… Dr. Condoleeza Rice, Rudy Giuliani, Colin Powell and many other popular and quite electable Republicans have suggested you might want to plan for a 12 year trip.